Here I sit feeling a day late and a dollar short, not very enlightened as I sit in the predawn darkness. I’m operating on less than two hour’s sleep, and the young one will be up in less than two hours. It’s downright soggy out here. I’m sitting on my back stoop, which is also soggy. Thank goodness for an endless supply of towels in this house. At least my pants aren’t soggy. See? There’s always something to be thankful for!
Before anyone starts wondering about my sleeping habits, let me enlighten all of you. I work in healthcare. Lots of us keep funny hours. Really funny hours. I’m not sure what my neighbors thought of me when the kids and I first moved to this small town. It did get back to me that folks were paying attention to my comings and goings, and were very relieved to assume my attire meant I was out doing something respectable. Perhaps we should all keep a set of scrubs handy to change into when we’ve been up to less respectable deeds. I mean, really, is that all it takes? Who knew it could be so easy to stay gone for 13 hours and reappear in the wee hours of the morning with hair that rivals Medusa’s and not scare the neighbors? Scrubs! Go buy a pair if you don’t already own some. They also come in handy for getting out of speeding tickets. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
Living in this tiny town has been enlightening, to say the least. And I’m certain that I’ve not been fully indoctrinated yet. I’ve not been here for every season yet. I hale from a town that has professional sports teams. I thought people there loved their sports. Let me enlighten you, no one loves sports more than people surrounded by corn and soybeans. And I mean high school sports. These kids are practically famous! I’m not sure I could have handled the pressure. I’m not even kidding. It’s my dirty secret that I don’t understand the game, and my only motivations for going are the concession stand and and the socialization. I used to believe that I couldn’t possibly be the only one, but then I realized that I am indeed the only person who doesn’t wear the school colors to every game. I really need to go shopping. I’m about to blow my cover.
You see, I’m realizing there are no secrets in a small town. I went out to lunch with a friend the other day. The next day at work, a coworker who lives in the next town over asked how lunch was. WHAT????? Is she psychic? Is she a stalker? No, neither, as far as I know. You see, my small town is bigger than her small town. Mind you, not Starbuck’s big, but we do have a wonderful little local coffee shop in my town. My coworker drove in for some coffee, recognized my friend, and asked where I was. Running late. Seems the only place I can make it to on time is work. And that’s if I don’t get stuck behind a tractor in a no passing zone.
I know why my neighbor and her boyfriend aren’t speaking. I was enlightened by another neighbor. It’s all because of the north side of my house. I had no idea my northern exterior holds such power. I’m aware that it is in need of a power washing. It was in need of a power washing when I bought the house. I just haven’t gotten to it yet. It was on my to do list. Now it’s on two other neighbor’s to do list. All in an effort to restore harmony. See, my next door neighbor really doesn’t care about my northern exterior. Her boyfriend does, and now they aren’t speaking because he didn’t consider my single motherhood and strange work hours when he decided to complain about my lack of power washing. Hell hath no fury as that of a woman who raised two children as a single mother and didn’t have time for power washing while she was doing it. Yep, he hit her hot button. Her kids might be grown, she might be retired, but she didn’t forget the years that came before. The good people of my community will be power washing my house in an effort to get those two speaking again. It’s really not about me or my house at this point. It might be about enlightenment.